OK, I wasn’t interviewed by THE James Lipton. But I thought you’d like to hear how the conversation would go if he did. Listen in:

 

“James Lipton”: What is your favorite word?

Cindy Perman: woohoo!

 

JL: What is your least favorite word?

CP: Bush

 

JL: Favorite phrase?

CP: If you ever tell anybody I said that, I’ll deny it.

 

JL: What is your favorite sound?

CP: “You’re right!”

 

JL: What is your least favorite sound?

CP: The sound of smugness.

 

JL: What are you most proud of?

CP: My spectacular sense of color.

 

JL: What are you least proud of?

CP: “Forgetting” to tell my husband that I’m missing the cooking gene.

 

JL: Who are you most inspired by?

CP: Gene Simmons. He turned a lizard tongue and some makeup into a multimillion-dollar empire.

 

JL: Who or what intimidates you?

CP: The blind - they accomplish so much! I think if I were blind, I’d be sitting around crying all the time asking people to tie my shoes. Also, the dead. Have you ever noticed? It’s always “He loved life” and “She lived every day to the fullest.” For me, every day with life is a gladiator fight and life is always up by at least a point.

 

JL: What scares you?

CP: My TiVo.

 

JL: What profession other than your own would you most like to try?

CP: Pet psychic.

 

JL: What profession would you least like to try?

CP: Fish gutter.

 

JL: If you had a band, what would it be called?

CP: The Flying Honks

 

JL: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

CP: Can you help me with some ideas for the living room? Hahaha. That joke never gets old here!